


All the Double-Edged People with Schemes

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: lovers from the moon [3]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Flirting, Jonah is a sweetheart, Multi, OT3, Relationship Negotiation, Secret Relationship, So much talking, and a lot of backstory, can destiny be manipulated? Kinga says yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 07:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11778264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Jonah has the leverage to try to get himself out of the Mads' clutches. The question now is when to do so. Kinga and Max make their case for him not leaving quite yet. Gizmocrats are a curious bunch... is curiosity enough of a reason to stick around?





	All the Double-Edged People with Schemes

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that all of my MST3K fic series are actually just one series. I'm going to keep this one broken out separately from Mistakes so I can work on them both at the same time without it being confusing. And you don't really need to read Mistakes if this is all you care about but that's where I'm getting all the backstory details from. Anyways I have four more parts to this in the works including more really dirty stuff and some ~serious feels~ so... stick around if that sounds like stuff you want to read!

Jonah didn't exactly want to go back up to the Satellite of Love right away, but the longer he stayed on Moon 13, the harder it would be to explain his absence to the bots-- and the more damage he'd likely be returning to from their boredom. Kinga flatly refused to send him back up the day he saved her life, and Max wanted him to stay at least another day to make sure Kinga was really okay, plying him with the promise of pancakes to keep him there longer. Honestly, it was... almost idyllic, staying with them a while. They barely stirred from the bed except for the promised pancakes. Kinga was an absolute cuddle monster, and it turned out that Max gave _really_ good backrubs after he caught Jonah repeatedly rubbing the back of his neck.

"You know, if mad science ever falls through, you could definitely make a go of it as a masseuse," Jonah said dreamily, and Kinga made an offended sound next to him as Max laughed.

"No, I'm pretty sure this is what I'm going to do until I die, but thanks for the compliment anyways." Max dug his thumbs into the space between Jonah's shoulderblades and Jonah made a blissful sound. "You're really tense right here."

"Yeah, I have terrible posture when I'm working in the fab lab, and I lose track of time so easy in there."

"Your posture is also terrible when you're performing surgery," Kinga told him, and he turned his head to look at her to find her smiling. "Apparently that's just how you hold yourself when you're in the zone."

"Accurate," he said. "It sucked a lot more when I was sleeping in a hammock, it's been better since you sent the bed up, but this..." He rolled his shoulders and sighed happily. "This is amazing."

"Isn't he great? His backrubs are half the reason I fell in love with him in the first place."

"Liar," Max said fondly. "Couldn't have been more than a quarter of the reason. Because you've specifically named my cooking, my encyclopedic knowledge of non-radio-play 90s pop music, and that one poem I wrote for you as half the reason you fell in love with me before."

"It was a really sweet poem," Kinga said defensively when Jonah arched a brow at her. "Shut up and take a compliment, sweetheart."

"Whatever you say, dearest," Max said, laughing. "Just keeping you honest."

"That's a full time job," Jonah said.

"Tell me about it," Max said. Kinga whined and kicked out, aiming for Max's leg but catching Jonah's instead.

"I didn't agree to be abused," Jonah said. "I'm not into it." He caught Kinga's ankle and held onto it, big hand wrapping all the way around and keeping her still, and she whined again but didn't try to remove it from his grasp. "You should be nicer to me. I saved the day."

"You saved all the days," Max said, "you're officially our hero." He started focusing his attention on Jonah's neck, drawing a groan out of him.

"Mm... captive hero," Jonah said mildly, and Max glanced at Kinga to find her looking pensive.

"About that," she said. "I think we need to reassess the state of this..."

"Kidnapping?" Jonah suggested.

"Show we're making," she finished, frowning slightly. "I already told you we're killing it on Netflix, right? And it's at least partly because of you and the way you are?"

"The way I'm great, you mean," Jonah said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that," Max said.

"It would be a shame to stop while we're doing so well." Kinga played her fingers down Jonah's arm and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Would you... maybe think about staying of your own volition?"

"I do have a life back on Earth I'd like to resume," Jonah said. "Family I miss. A degree to finish. Friends I haven't seen in years."

"If we let you go we'll never see you again," Kinga said, and Jonah shrugged.

"Not exactly easy to visit the moon. And coming back would be a little more Stockholm than I think I'm at yet."

"Hey, you're the one who said he cared about us," Max pointed out.

"Caring about you doesn't mean giving up my life," Jonah shot back, and Max made a little hurt sound and stopped rubbing Jonah's back, shifting to his other side so Jonah was caught between Max and Kinga. He looked from one to the other and sighed. "Caring about you is one of those heart-over-head mistakes I should have known better than to make."

"We care about you too," Max said, "which is really weird because neither of us cared about anyone besides each other for... god, how long has it been?"

"A lifetime, more or less," Kinga said. "And I'm not sure I like having that change."

"You're giving me some seriously mixed messages here," Jonah said. "Are you resentful that you care now?"

"Kinga's resentful of everything she doesn't have complete dominion over," Max said with a laugh. "She's a control freak. And you seriously disrupt that every time we bring you down here."

"Good," Jonah said. "That was my intention. Well, not the second time, that was a matter of necessity. But definitely the first time."

"You're lucky I like you," Kinga said, poking Jonah just under the ribs. "Anyone else admitting that would get thrown in the dinosaur pens."

"I didn't know you liked me that much," Jonah said, brows arching. "I thought I got away with it because you owe me." She pursed her lips at him, and he deliberately misinterpreted it to steal a kiss from her. "Not to mention you seemed to like it last time," he added, and she snapped her teeth at him.

"This is really entertaining, but she actually does bite when she's angry so be careful," Max said. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I bite when I'm happy too," Kinga said. "I just enjoy biting. I like leaving marks."

"Because you're possessive," Max said.

"That and I like the sounds you make when I'm leaving them," she said with a smirk. "And you bruise so beautifully. Hey, Jonah, how do you bruise?"

"Oh no," Jonah said. "No, I don't think I want you to know that."

"Because you want to let me find out for myself?" she asked hopefully.

"Because I don't want you to think of me as yours." She pouted, and he sighed. "Aren't the power dynamics enough of a mess already? You really want to add that to the mix?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to."

"I'm still saying no."

"This is unbalanced," Max pointed out, and Jonah snorted.

"No kidding."

"No, not that. I mean, you know what we like but we don't know what you like. What do you want? What could we do to make you happy if we’re asking you to stay?"

"What if I like it unbalanced like this?"

"That's not fair to me," Max said. "I didn't get any say in what you two arranged behind my back. Just because I enjoyed what happened doesn't mean I shouldn't get a say in how it goes in the future."

"Okay, that's legitimate," Jonah admitted, studying Max thoughtfully. "You're more complex than a list of likes and dislikes, I know that. What do you want this to look like?"

"I need time to think about it. And if what I want counts for anything, I want to know what your list looks like. Because even though we're all obviously more complex than what we like and dislike, it's important to me to see for myself where we line up."

"Okay," Jonah said. "Print it out again and I'll add mine to yours before I go back up to the SOL."

"So you will stay?" Kinga asked. Jonah dropped his head against the bed and sighed deeply, then picked it up again and looked at her.

"I'll stay _for now_ ," he said. "Not forever. Maybe not for long. But for now. Because I'm actually desperately curious to see how this is going to go."

"Curiosity killed the cat," Max said, and then grinned. "But satisfaction brought him back. So let's hope we all get our curiosity satisfied."

"So far that's going pretty well for me, at least," Jonah said. "And I'm trying to make it go well for both of you."

"You're doing an excellent job of it," Max said. "Almost too good a job."

"Definitely too good a job," Kinga said. "You've got us enchanted by your pelvic sorcery."

"I'm magical in many ways," Jonah said. "And all of them are just advanced science."

"Science made you sexy?" Max asked doubtfully.

"I may have done a lot of reading on the topic of human sexuality. And practical research. You know. For science."

"Riiiiight," Kinga said. "For science. We were at Gizmonics at the same time as you, you know? I heard a few rumors."

"Yes, I remember," Jonah said dryly. "The way you assaulted someone in front of me on the day we met made you unforgettable. I heard rumors about you too. I just didn't know you were the one who blew that lab up. I should have connected the dots, but you weren't the only person expelled from that incident."

"You were sweet to me on a very stressful day," Kinga said, cupping his cheek and rubbing her thumb against his scruff. It made him want to purr. "I knew you were too good a person to ignore a distress call. Even with your own success on the line, you were always going to do the right thing." Suddenly he didn't want to purr any more. His brow furrowed and he leaned back slightly.

"You... knew I would do the right thing," he repeated slowly. "You knew _I_ would. It wasn't random. You were targeting me." Max and Kinga shared a glance, and Max shrugged.

"It was her idea."

"Oh, bullshit. I just said you'd be the best candidate out of the people we knew would be going through local space. Max was the one who figured out how to lure you."

"I'm blaming both of you equally," Jonah said. He reached over Max to get his glasses from the bedside table and put them on, not much of a layer of defense except psychologically, but he'd take what he could get. "I wouldn't have guessed the two of you were that methodical, actually."

"You were the only one we could predict a reaction for," Kinga said. "Two were disqualified due to language barriers. One we knew by reputation, but the reputation was that he was a total dickweed. Three we didn't know anything about. And then there was you."

"I mean, you're familiar with the original experiments," Max said, and Jonah nodded. "So you know it's a compliment when we say you reminded us of Joel."

"I mean, that would be a compliment from anyone, Joel Robinson is a Gizmonic legend," Jonah said, and then he blinked. "You really think so?"

"Oh, absolutely," Kinga said. "Laid-back, low-key genius, pleasant disposition, friendly, quick-witted... yeah. You're perfect."

"Go on..."

"You're also really handsome and devastatingly good in bed," Max chimed in, "but that has nothing to do with comparing you to Joel."

"Aw, you guys." Jonah was surprised at how _not_ mad he was to find this out. It wasn't like he could fault them for making the best choice for what they wanted to do. And it wasn't like being in their clutches was the worst thing that ever happened to him... any more. Even when it had been bad, it still wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to him.

"I hope this doesn't change your mind about staying," Kinga said.

"I just have one question."

"Yes?"

"You didn't pick me because you thought I'd sleep with you, did you?" Max looked shocked.

"I didn't know anything about her planning that," he said. "We picked you because we already knew you'd be easy to work with."

"It wasn't a factor in my decision making process," Kinga said. "But like I said, I heard some rumors about you. I wouldn't have asked you to do that particular favor if I hadn't heard those rumors."

"I'm really not sure how I feel about this," Jonah said. "Like, on the one hand I feel like I should be pissed, but I'm weirdly flattered instead? And on the other hand I feel like a total sucker for falling for it."

"You shouldn't feel bad about it," Max said. "Kinga's manipulation skills are ungodly sharp."

"Hey, it's your voice that lured me in," Jonah said, poking Max in the chest. "You can't pin all the blame on her."

"I was pretty sure you'd be less likely to recognize my voice than hers." Max poked him back. "And it's a good thing we picked you because I'm also pretty sure she'd be dead without you."

"This is such an unhealthy basis for a relationship."

"Is this a relationship?" Kinga asked. "Is that what you want?"

"Not a-- not that kind of relationship. Just any relationship between people." Jonah blinked and looked from Kinga to Max and back again. "Why, is that what _you_ want?"

"What's the point if you're just going to leave?" Max asked.

"The measure of a good relationship isn't that it lasts forever," Jonah said. "It's that you leave each other in better condition than you found each other when it's over." Max shot a puzzled look at Kinga, who shrugged slightly.

"That's news to us," she said. "I mean, we're unconventional already--"

"No kidding."

"--Because we've known each other forever," she went on, looking annoyed. "Literally forever. Since I was born."

"Really?"

"We grew up together," Max said. "In Deep 13."

"You know they store hazardous materials down there now," Jonah said.

"That's what they told me when I requested it for my lab space," Kinga said.

"Wouldn't that be weird? Using your childhood home as lab space?"

"It was always lab space," Kinga said. "I mean... it's more of a birthplace than a childhood home."

"It's both," Max said.

"You guys are _so_ weird," Jonah said.

"Thank you," Max said. "We take pride in it."

"And you've never wanted to do anything else with your lives but this?"

"It's our destiny," Kinga said. "It's what we were born to do. My whole life I knew exactly what I'd become. There's a certain amount of reassurance in being that sure of your fate."

"I guess," Jonah said doubtfully. "Did you know you'd fall in love?"

"Not so much," Max said. "I always loved her. But I didn't think I'd fall in love with her. It was laughably obvious in retrospect. And I didn't tell her for... what, like six years after I realized it?"

"I didn't realize I loved him like that until... the day we met you, actually," Kinga said, brows raising. "The day I fucked that blonde bimbo up for touching him. Wow, that's weird to realize."

"Really? I thought it was pretty obvious that you loved him then," Jonah said. "You looked like you wanted to murder her. No one reacts like that unless there's love on the line."

"Clearly you don't know Kinga very well yet," Max said. "She looks like she wants to murder people pretty regularly."

"Well, they do say jealousy is green eyed," Jonah said. "And redheads... you've got all the stereotypes working to make you come off as violent."

"I'm not violent because of stereotypes," Kinga said blithely. "I'm violent because people are stupid and the world is miserable and sometimes you have to get violent to make a change."

"Oh, so it's benevolent violence."

"Hell no."

"I'm not sure I get what you're trying to say, then..."

"Don't worry about it," Max advised him. "As long as you're not the subject of her violence, don't worry about it."

"Uh..."

"You're safe," Kinga said with a smile. "Unless we're talking about sexual violence, in which case you aren't safe."

" _Uh..._ "

"Don't scare him, dearest," Max said. "She'll probably behave if you tell her not to do something. More reason for you to do the list."

"The two of you are terrifying," Jonah said. "Because I let my guard down for a second and you say something that makes me have to put it right back up."

"I wouldn't advise letting your guard down," Kinga said. "I'm very opportunistic."

"No, really?"

"I know it's a shock," Max said dryly. "I think you probably should be more worried about her being sadistic than opportunistic."

"I'm really not into being hurt," Jonah said. "That wasn't a joke. I won't roll over and take it."

"Is that negotiable?" Kinga asked. Jonah glared at her, and she batted her eyes mock-innocently. "What? Asking is better than just doing, right?"

"Why do I have a feeling that I might have to tie you up to prevent it?" He got a surround-sound gasp at that question.

"You totally should," Max said immediately. "For science."

"For science," Jonah repeated, trying not to laugh. "Are you trying to live vicariously through me?"

"Hell no, I'm going to be in the room when it happens," Max said. "You can get away with doing it, I couldn't."

"You never tried," Kinga said, and Max gave her a skeptical look. "What? You didn't."

"That's because I like it when you hurt me," Max said. "Why would I want to stop you doing something I enjoy?" She smirked. "Anyways, don't act like you didn't laugh it off every time I tried to do anything even remotely dominant."

"It doesn't suit you," she said. "I can't take you seriously like that." Max pouted, and Jonah patted his arm.

"Is that something you want to do?"

"Well... I don't know," Max said. "Why, are you offering?"

"Yeah," Jonah said. "Why not? _You're_ not the sadist."

"What, really?" Kinga's brows arched. "You'd let him?"

"I'd let him before I'd let you," Jonah said, looking from Kinga to Max and back. "You've got him to sharpen your nails on, you don't need me for a scratching post. And I don't mind letting someone else take control."

"But you were so dominant with me..."

"Yeah, because I knew it would put you off-balance. And it worked flawlessly."

"I don't know if that's fiendish or brilliant," Max said. "Or fiendishly brilliant."

"Hey, I'm not in this to be evil," Jonah said. "But I do have to be devious to keep up. And you made it really, really easy for me by giving me that list."

"I thought it would squick you out," Kinga said.

"Oh, come on. I've been stuck in space with no internet access for a year. If you really thought handing me a list of kinks wasn't going to turn me on, I don't know what to tell you."

"He has a point," Max said. "I think she just didn't expect you to be so... equal opportunity."

"That was a failure of imagination on her part," Jonah said. "Especially if she heard the rumors about me. Some of which, I will admit, I encouraged the spread of."

"Sowing the seeds of your own destruction," Max said thoughtfully, and Jonah groaned and dropped his head against the bed. "Pun not intended!"

"Lewd," Kinga said. "How many rumors were there, anyways?"

"Oh, there were probably as many about me as there were about the two of you," Jonah said. "Only all of yours involved each other and destruction and most of mine involved different people and fun."

"Destruction is fun," Kinga insisted, and Jonah shook his head.

"You're incredibly worrisome."

"Tell me about it," Max said with a laugh. "But she comes by it honestly."

"And what do _you_ come by honestly?"

"Worrying about her."

"That's convenient."

"Destiny," Kinga reminded him.

"I don't have a destiny like that," Jonah said. "I'm the captain of my own fate."

"I beg to differ," Kinga said, smirking. "You're not the captain of anything right now."

"Look, just because you hijacked me doesn't mean my fate is out of my own hands any more," Jonah said, frowning at her. "Especially now that I've saved your life."

"You're tangled up in our destiny now," Max said, and Jonah turned the frown on him instead. "For a while, at least."

"Your sense of destiny is bizarrely designed and manipulated to the point where I don't think you can call it destiny any more," Jonah said, and Max shrugged.

"Better than blindly stumbling around trusting fate to line things up for us. Nothing wrong with being proactive,” Kinga said. “Anyways, I learned how to cheat fate from my father, who literally learned how to rob death. And did so repeatedly.” Jonah looked from her to Max and back again.

“So your dad _did_ kill his dad.”

“Oh, yeah. At least once a month. Sometimes a lot more than that.”

“And this is what you signed up for?” Jonah asked Max, who shook his head.

“I’ve never died. She, uh…”

“I love him too much to risk losing him forever,” Kinga said quietly. “And I’m not sure I could do what my dad did. We have different specialties.” Jonah was still between them, but Kinga reached over him to touch Max’s arm gently, getting a smile in return. “Anyways, I’m not as emotionally stunted as my dad. Almost, but not entirely.”

“Again, you two are _so_ weird.”

“Funny, you don’t say it like it’s a bad thing any more,” Max said. Jonah shrugged.

“You’re weird but still somehow sweet. I don’t know, it’s cute how much you clearly love each other. Kind of co-dependent--”

“ _Kind_ of,” Max said with a snort.

“But not in a totally maladaptive way,” Jonah finished. “I mean, given your dynamic and what you’ve told me about yourselves.”

“Which isn’t a whole hell of a lot,” Kinga pointed out.

“I wonder how much better I’ll get to know you before this is all over,” he said. “I look forward to finding out. But I think I’d like to go back to the Satellite of Love now.”

“Okay, but…” Kinga threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed him soundly, rubbing her cheek against his scruffy one as she pulled back. “Thank you. Again. For saving my life.”

“Wow,” Max said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard her thank someone twice for the same thing.”

“Oh, you liar, I’ve thanked you twice for things before.”

“You really haven’t.”

“Haven’t I?”

“Think about it while I’m gone, I want specific examples,” Max said, biting back a smile as he stood up and started pulling clothes on. “I bet you can’t name one.”

“You’re welcome,” Jonah told Kinga, and he stretched out as he rolled off the bed, being just a little gratuitous to enjoy their attention on him. “Oh, Max, you have to print the list out for me.”

“Right, right.” Max picked up Jonah’s jumpsuit and held it behind his back, smiling up at him. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to charge you a convenience fee for doing your laundry…” 

“I see your general sense of owing me your lives doesn’t preclude minor extortion,” Jonah said, “but since I don’t have anything to trade on other than my dashing good looks, I hope this will do.” Max yelped when Jonah pulled him into his arms and dipped him back to steal a kiss. The jumpsuit fell to the floor as Max clutched Jonah’s shoulders, afraid of being dropped, but Jonah had him securely and brought him back up safely. 

“Ooh,” Kinga said from the bed. “You know, I thought I might get jealous, but that was hot.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jonah didn’t look over at her, too stuck on Max’s dazed expression of delight.

“He loves romantic stuff like that, too.” 

“I never would have guessed that he was a romantic,” Jonah said dryly. “It’s not completely, ridiculously obvious or anything.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Max said, and Jonah kissed him again.

“I’m not. You’re adorable. Can I get dressed now?”

“Only if you have to…”

“I’m pretty sure going back to the SOL in just my boxers is a recipe for disaster, unless you really want the bots to know about this.”

“I really don’t,” Kinga said. “I’d rather no one else know about this.”

“I’m your dirty little secret now?” Jonah asked with a snort, and she rolled her eyes.

“We’re still making a show,” she said. “And I’m not ready for a romantic subplot.”

“Do you think I could maybe get a movie that isn’t designed to make me lose my mind once in a while?” Jonah asked as he pulled on his jumpsuit. “I’m pretty sure I can still riff on something merely mediocre as opposed to actually atrocious.” 

“We can throw you a softball now and then. How do you feel about shorts?”

“Shorts could be fun.”

“I was thinking of bringing back shorts.”

“Ooh, do the super cheesy hygiene ones from the 50s, those are easy to mock.” 

“I think we might have to break out the classic ‘duck and cover’ educational short,” Max said. 

“Way too on the nose,” Jonah said. “I’m not sure if it’s ironic enough to be funny or real enough to be offputting.”

“I think it would appeal to Millennials,” Kinga said thoughtfully. “The kind of people who make memes about nihilism, you know.”

“You make memes about nihilism,” Max pointed out, and she smiled at him. 

“And you reblog them.”

“Despite the fact that nihilism is not my aesthetic.”

“What is your aesthetic?” Jonah asked curiously. Max flushed and didn’t say anything. Kinga laughed.

“Cuteness. His aesthetic is reblogging ninety percent of the posts from WeRateDogs and The Cat Reviewer liberally interspersed with stimming photosets and Magic card parodies.”

“Kinga…” Max pouted at her and Jonah nudged him.

“Sounds cool, I’ll follow you.”

“Really?”

“Well, if you answer one question.”

“Okay…”

“Doge or catto?” Max stifled a giggle into his hand.

“Small doge scare me but I love every catto,” he said, and Jonah grinned. 

“Now that’s one more thing I know about you.” He put his arm around Max and added, “and I think there’s some stuff you want to know about me? Let’s go get that list done for you.” He wiggled his fingers at Kinga as they left the room. Max lead him a short way down the hall to a room that was both clearly his and clearly never slept in and tapped at the computer on his desk for a moment. “These are really cool,” Jonah said, leaning down to peer closer at a collection of painted Pathfinder miniatures on the shelves next to the desk. “Did you paint them?”

“Every one of them,” Max agreed. 

“You have excellent attention to detail.”

“Only sometimes,” Max said dryly, “but for those, yes. Thank you.”

“What other secret talents do you have?”

“Not so many of them that I can afford to let you know all of them so easily.” Max grabbed the printed list from the printer and turned around with a smile. “If you look around you can probably guess a couple more.” The miniatures had caught his attention as soon as Jonah came into the room, and he stepped back and turned slowly, looking around and categorizing everything he saw. Max handed him the list once he’d turned all the way around.

“There’s an above-average number of knitted things in this room,” Jonah said, and Max’s smile widened. “And the skeins of yarn in that box are a slight giveaway,” he added, pointing at a clear tote underneath the bed.

“It’s a good form of stress relief,” Max said. “Although the results aren’t terribly useful in a climate controlled moon base.”

“What’s in there?” Jonah nodded at a soft-sided instrument case leaning against a corner.

“Acoustic guitar.”

“No kidding?”

“I wouldn’t list that as a secret talent. I’m pretty bad at it.”

“You have a habit of selling yourself short,” Jonah said, and when Max rolled his eyes, “Pun never intended when I say that to you, but you give me too many reasons to say it.”

“I’m being serious. I’ve barely taken it out of the case in the years we’ve been up here. And I wasn’t good at it before I stopped doing it.”

“Well, if you want to get better at it, you wouldn’t be the first person I’ve helped.”

“I somehow doubt that I would be the first person you’ve done almost anything with.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” Jonah said cheerfully. “Do you have markers or something I can use for this list?”

“Yeah, in the desk drawer… you can sit down and do it.”

“Nah, I already did it with the copy Kinga gave me, I don’t have to think hard about it.” Jonah cocked his head as he went through the drawer and added, “although it might be helpful to clarify who I’d do things with…”

“I honestly never thought that would be a thing I’d need to clarify,” Max said. “I didn’t see this coming. Any of it.”

“Are you okay with it, though?”

“Am I-- yes. You’re very-- hm--” Max chewed on his lip, studying Jonah for a moment. Jonah looked over his shoulder at him, a question in his eyes. “You’re very easy to care about,” Max said. “Because you care so much.”

“It makes absolutely no sense for me to care about the two of you given the shit you put me through,” Jonah said. “But once I found out what you’re really like, not the way you act in front of the cameras…” He shrugged and went back to digging through the drawer until he found the colors he needed. “It’s not the dumbest emotion I’ve ever had in my life. Might not even make top five dumbest emotions.”

“I wonder if you’ll still feel that way on the day you decide to leave for real,” Max said softly, and Jonah put down the marker in his hand and turned around to meet Max’s eyes.

“Don’t tell Kinga this because I want to hold it as a bargaining chip,” he said, and waited for Max to nod. “I’m in for another season. Since we’re doing so well and all. It’d be a shame to torpedo a good show. And honestly… it’s been kinda fun.”

“Really?”

“You’re going to tell her, aren’t you.”

“No! You just asked me not to.”

“You’re really loyal to her.” Max looked up at Jonah with a wry smile.

“Wouldn’t you be, after thirty years?” Jonah conceded the point with a nod, and Max added, “You’ve been concerned about how I feel the whole way through this. That’s enough to start earning my loyalty too.”

“What you want is just as important as what she wants.”

“What about what you want?”

“I’m easy,” Jonah said. “I’m a people-pleaser. And fairly omnivorous in my tastes. And honestly…” Max arched a brow at him and he shrugged. “This is still not the most dysfunctional threesome I’ve been involved in.”

“That’s got to be an interesting story,” Max said.

“I got out of it as soon as I realized I was being used as a weapon between them,” Jonah said. “But I didn’t realize it as soon as I should have.”

“We definitely won’t do that.”

“You’re doing the opposite of that. You’re asking me to help make each other happier. That’s the sort of thing I like being involved in.”

“Ideally, we’ll be making you happier too,” Max said. “As soon as we know what makes you happy.”

“Give me three uninterrupted minutes to finish this and you’ll have the cheat sheet,” Jonah said, turning back to the desk. Max fought the urge to peek… well, not over his shoulder, but around his side. He sat down on the neatly made bed instead and watched Jonah’s glasses slip down his nose as he added colors and notations on the list, until he nodded and stacked the pages together cleanly and set them down on the desk, then pushed his glasses up with one finger. “Don’t look at that until I’m gone, okay?”

“Okay,” Max said, “but it’s going to be the first thing I do after you go up.” He stood up.

“I expected nothing less.”

“Thank you for doing it.”

“Thank you for caring enough to ask me to do it,” Jonah said, and bent to kiss the top of Max’s head. “You’re very sweet, you know.”

“I’m just reflecting the way you’ve treated me,” Max said, but he turned pink. “You’re a genuinely good person. I don’t think I can claim that after the life I’ve lived.” He started walking and Jonah caught up to him two steps later.

“You did it all for love,” Jonah said, and Max nodded. “Then I’d say you can claim it. Unless you’ve murdered people I don’t know about…”

“My hands are clean of lifeblood,” Max said. “Well… all blood. Because blood makes me queasy. And the deaths Kinga is responsible for weren’t through her direct action.” Jonah’s brows shot up and Max shook his head. “Not mine to tell you about. But she’s… not as evil as her dad was.”

“Not a high bar to clear,” Jonah said, and Max smiled.

“No. Not really.”

“She’s still pretty evil.”

“Yes. But not homicidal. And she keeps her promises to people she respects.”

“Does she respect me?”

“She’s always respected you,” Max said. “From day one. You’d be amazed at how much currency a single act of kindness garners with her, and you’ve done several now.”

“She doesn’t seem the type to value it that much.”

“Like I said… you’d be amazed.” Max waved at the tube to send Jonah back up as they walked up to it. “Sure you want to go now?”

“One last thing,” Jonah said, and when Max looked up at him questioningly he caught Max’s face between both hands and kissed him sweetly. Max let out a squeak of surprise and turned pink before Jonah let go of him. “Okay, I’m ready now.” Being sent up wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t being shoved into the tube but walked into it of his own volition. The last thing he saw before it slid shut was Max smiling at him.

It was always a little nauseating to go between the SOL and Moon 13 so quickly, and he always staggered for a second before he caught himself when the tube set him down. He quickly found himself swarmed by bots.

“Jonah! You’re alive!” Crow sounded surprised.

“What happened?” Tom asked, bobbing up and down in excitement as he hovered around Jonah. “Is Kinga really sick? Did she die?”

“She didn’t die,” Jonah said, and the bots both let out disappointed groans. “I saved her life.”

“Why?” Crow asked bluntly. Jonah blinked. He’d meant to come up with an excuse the bots would buy, but then he’d gotten distracted…

“Max threatened to kill me if I didn’t,” he said, and Gypsum gasped.

“No way. He doesn’t have it in him.”

“He was very convincing when he said it.”

“What was wrong with her anyways? Are you going to get sick?” Tom asked. “You’ve done repairs on us, but I don’t think we can repair you.”

“I’m not going to get sick,” Jonah said. “She wasn’t contagious. But she was in danger of dying. And now she isn’t.”

“You were down there _forever_ ,” Tom said.

“I was down there less than two days,” Jonah protested.

“That’s forever in robot time,” Crow said. “We thought you abandoned us.”

“Are you kidding? I could never abandon you guys. We’re in this together.” Jonah put an arm around Tom and Crow, and Gypsum rested her head on his shoulder. “....so how many things did you destroy while I was gone?”

“He did it,” Tom and Crow said simultaneously, pointing at each other.

“They both did it,” Gypsum said. “I tried to contain the damage.” Jonah sighed heavily and rapped his knuckles on both bots’ heads.

“Come on, guys, I asked nicely.”

“Yeah, but you were gone for so long!” Crow whined.

“Well… let’s see it,” Jonah said, following Gypsum down the corridor. How long could he keep the bots in the dark about what was going on between the humans? He’d find out sooner or later. Hopefully later.

**Author's Note:**

> hey... want to see the Mads' blogs? sure you do!
> 
> https://thirdgenerationsupervillain.tumblr.com/  
> https://squishysecondbanana.tumblr.com/
> 
> and even though he didn't volunteer information about his, here's Jonah's:
> 
> https://flyboygizmocrat.tumblr.com/
> 
> I hope these are as much fun to look through as they were to set up. I'm thinking about continuing maintaining them so hey, if you want to follow them, there will be more!


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